Friday, August 19, 2011

Too Short a Season

Well, god damnit.  Skipped an episode.  An obsessive superfan brought it to my attention, so I hope you can forgive this transgression.  And you know, not hunt me down and slaughter me in my sleep you fuckin weirdo.

God, besides kids the only thing that creeps me out more is fuckin old people.  And this one has maybe the oldest fucker in the history of time.


Some creepy old admiral is needed to negotiate with some hostage takers on some back woods hillbilly planet.  Creepy old guy is the man for the job apparently since he did it 40 years ago.

just die already

All of a sudden this god damn geriatric starts walking around AND THEN HAS THE GALL TO TRY TO BANG HIS OLD LADY WIFE.  ON THE TV.  GROSS.

I'm gunna r you

So yea, turns out this is the plot of Benjamin Button.  Old guy finds a way to age backwards.  Hollywood bastards stealing from Star Trek. Except I never saw that movie so I don't know if Mr. Button tries to bang his gross old lady wife time and time again.

old people: srsly the worst

So Admiral Benjamin Button has been taking some alien reverse aging pills and is all pumped up to go rescue some hostages. But he took too much because he is a greedy little piggy. There is some neat costuming, makeup, and acting work going on.  Pretty good by Trek standards.  

where da tang at

Turns out "the negotiator" is full of shit about being a badass earlier and really just gave weapons to everybody the first time around.  Since he sucked then, he is trying to make up for it by sucking now. He even manages to suck Picard into going on an away mission to some stinky old sewers.

I guess the whole point of this episode is that old people are stupid. The memory-alpha trivia from this episode is hysterical:
  • rest of the cast didn't like ze "Admiral"
  • the "wheelchair" was $10,000 and didn't even work
  • the phaser fight scene was shot in an old spaceballs set
By the end Adm. Button is like 12 and dying and the dude on the planet realizes the error of his ways and everybody lives happily ever after.

pew pew

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