look at how cool he is here!
Whoa, sorry about that. So, this planet is undergoing some terraforming. Now, I'm no scientician but in the Star Trek universe I'm a little confused as to why you would even bother terraforming when it seems like there are plenty of other planets around that are just fine. But, you know, whatever.
The terraforming crew is run by this James Mason sounding guy.
There is a really funny bit by Eddie Izzard about the James Mason voice. Moving on.
So James Mason guy is detected by Troi's amazing psychic powers to be hiding "something", so Picard decides to go fuck with them. Once they get down there this awesome laser starts blasting dudes.
I'm gonna zap you bro
Data destroys the laser and the James Mason guy is pissed. Picard decides to investigate and suspects foul play.
Blah blah blah turns out there is some "inorganic" life at play here. I think they used this plot device way back in TOS with some Silicon based life or something. I'll report back once I have seen that one.
Back on the Enterprise James Mason guy overacts for a while before copping to seeing "patterns" which they now know is this inorganic life. It finds a way to talk through the ships computer and has one of the best lines in the show:
"UGLY BAGS OF MOSTLY WATER."
Pretty apt description if you ask me.
So the terraforming dudes realize they were accidentally killing the inorganic life and are super sorry, but not before 20 minutes of time killing trying to figure out how it works and pointless moralizing. Also the crystal bros are sort of dicks.
"You guys suck."
"We know."
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