TNGS2: Unnatural Selection

aww yisss

ALRIGHT NERDS, this episode is surprisingly not bad despite the fact that it spits in the face of the official Star Trek canon. SPITS IN ITS FACE I SAY. More on this later.

Enterprise is straight chillin, as usual, and gets a distress call from some transport ship. I always imagined it would be a total bummer to be a captain on some shitty starship, going from shit planet to shit planet, carrying loads of ore or whatever. It is easy to get lost in the ritz and glamour of the Enterprise but god damnit somebody has got to the shit work. Picard 'n' crew roll up to the shitship and nobody is home, so they decide to hack their shit and find out what the deal is.

Oh noes, everybody is a dead Frankenstein monster! But seriously you guys! Apparently everybody over there got real old real fast. Which is a total bummer, because being old sucks a lot dudes. I just had to go visit my grandmother in a physical therapy rehab center and god damn, totally blowing my brains out before I get old. Totes not worth it.

Like the awesome detectives they are, Enterprise krew decides to backtrack on the cargo vessel's last stops and they head to some research outpost. At said outpost shit is bad because everybody there has the same disease! Crap!

Turns out down there they are doing genetic engineering on humans. Tsk tsk! DON'T YOU KNOW, SHITTY STAR TREK WRITERS, THAT GENETIC ENGINEERING WAS OUTLAWED AFTER WORLD WAR III? DON'T YOU REMEMBER KHAN? KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In any case, planet bros are super bummed because they made a bunch of young looking A.C. Slater's and want to save them! But Picard says no, not swayed by their handsomeness.

uncomfortably handsome

Stupid Pulaski wants to bring them on board and thinks she is super smart but Picard says no some more. She thinks she is sooooooooooo smart so she decides to treat the patient on a shuttle away from everyone  else. But, she sucks, and gets sick from the handsome kid. Oh and they are telepaths, did I mention that?

Enterprise decides "well fuck you then" and drops her off on the planet to get old and die. Sort of like what you do when your grandparents get way too old, drop them off on a home somewhere.

"How about some bingo, deary?"

Pulaski also has the nerve to shit on Data some more, but he is a total badass and saves the day. Then, the Enterprise goes back and blows up the Frankenstein ship. Bummer dudes!

PEACE OUT BITCHES