TNGS2: The Dauphin

God damn I don't remember this one at all. Probably because it is a shitty Wesley episode. Don't try to fool us into thinking Wesley likes girls - we all know the truth. His little onesies, his pompadour, this whole fucking episode is god damn awkward Wesley pretending he likes girls. Fucking terrible. How are you going to have a shitty Wesley episode right after a beast like Measure of a Man. Fucking shameful.

fucking hate you wesley

So yea, there is some girl who is supposed to be head honcho of some backwater planet that nobody knows or cares about. She falls in love with stupid boner Wesley for some god damn reason and of course that is bad news. Everybody tries to tell her that Wesley is a crybaby wiener and that he is totally not worth it but of course that just makes her like him more. It is like they don't know dumb teenage girls at all. She is pretty dang hot though.

There is a scene where she has some random other hot girl in her room and I'm waiting for them to start making out or something but no, she turns into a fucking little ewok thing. This episode sucks. The ewok things make this horrible fucking noise too, like a drunk guy with down's syndrome who just realized the absurdity of his own existence.

you know, maybe just make out a little

wtf

The plot of this episode is so dumb I can't be bothered to care. There are three funny scenes though, one is Worf getting a bone thinking about mating with some nasty Klingon ladies and getting all pervy. Another is when Geordi realizes that Wesley has his little girl boner and can't work. "Eventually you will give up on girls and hang out in engineering like me Wes."

The last funny thing is any time they do the weird ewok shape shifting thing the stop motion effects are horrible. This show blows my mind, sometimes the effects and sets will badass and then sometimes....ridiculous.

seriously look at this ridiculous thing

Best part of the episode? Wesley looking sad.

Worst part? Wesley being a little crybaby for the 8,000th time. "Oh I fell in love with you in 13 minutes and then you turned out to be a shapeshifting weirdo wah wah wah". Man up, shitheel. Sometimes the lady turns out to be not as awesome as she looks.

SO MANY FEEEEEEEEEEELINGS

I give this episode -37 stars. Fuck you Dauphin.

she is too hot for you anyways